Currently Studying

Correllian Wicca Second Degree
The Faerie's Oracle
Winter's Ink Covenant Rites

This year I got to celebrate over two nights.

On Friday, I headed to Hazel's house to meet up with her, Sequoia, and Harmonia for the Dancing Ivy Samhain party. We had a pot luck, watched Once More, With Feeling, the Buffy Musical Episode and decorated coven and person altar cloths. Harmonia left early and the remaining three of us talked geeky things and made sage smudge bundles from the dried sage a friend of mine gave me. Great night.

On Saturday, I traveled to Sweetwood for their Samhain ritual and to meet the other members of the Sweetwood Clergy. I had a great time and it was a very special night for all involved. It was one of the best rituals I have ever attended and really enjoyed chatting and the great food afterwards.

It's been a long time coming and I finally feel very settled in my pagan practice.

Oh, I'm also up to date on my deepening journal. Go me!

Between work, home, summer events, skating, two vacations, AJ's Legal Woes, and Mum-in-Law visiting, I've fallen slightly behind on my Deepening work. So today is catch up day. It's mostly just the journaling aspect that I've missed doing, which is okay. The task/activity, once I've thought of it, is usually done rather quickly, then I go back and write about it. Well, yeah ... try remembering to do that!

So I finished off the August journaling and now need to do September's... And then I need to write up my book report for the book I read for this section... I chose "Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve" because I feel forgiving is a major part of Deep Friendship.

At the end of next week, we start the Positive Sexuality section. I'm wondering how I'll go with this one, since it is one thing I have never explored. I did a lot of overthinking with Deep Friendship, I will have to force myself not to do that.

It's interesting... when I agreed to join and began this journey, I was concerned over how long it would take, but then, with eight months now past and one full section out of five completed, it doesn't seem long at all, by the end of Winter, another section will be done. See, not long at all.

Very much enjoyed the Mabon ritual up at Sweetwood. Delta was not feeling well, so Iacchus asked me to High Priestess and cast circle with him. That was very awesome. Been a long time since I was in that position. The members of Dancing Ivy had lots to talk about and it was a great outing for us.

Of course, in joys come losses and we lost two members of the group this week which I'm very sad about mainly because I don't know why. Things seem to be going well and then, they leave. I emailed them asking if it was something that could be done and ask them to stay and wished them well on their journeys, but I don't expect to hear. That's just usually the way. I imagine we'll talk about it at this week's meeting.

That's all for the moment. Better get back to my task at hand.

It's been a long time coming and one of those things where if you wait, good things will come to you. And this is something I've slowly worked for.

I would like to introduce you all to Dancing Ivy Coven - Tain, Harmonia, Sequoia, Shaylee, Hazel, and Willow.

It feels very much like Violet Star Circle was. I'm doing some teaching and some leading, but it really is a meshing of six minds and six different experiences. And it's comfortable.

As most of you who read this journal know, I used to run Harmony Woods Grove. It worked for a while, but generally, because of the kids, it never really took off and I felt that, despite my experience, we were getting nowhere. Things happened and HWG was no more. I tried to get it started again, but I just didn't have the patience or drive when people would inquire, and then never respond to my greeting email.

I became involved in the Sweetwood Deepening program which has been very good me as it involves some meditation and one small project a month and some journaling, but I still craved the group work. I came across an Ad for a new forming group and answered it.

It took a while for Harmonia (who had put up the Ad) to get things off the ground, but my patience paid off and the group met for the first time and I immediately felt comfortable with everyone. Sequoia, who was in HWG, came with me as she was very dedicated in the previous group and I knew she'd be good in the new one.

We have since met four times. We have decided on Rules, meeting times and dates, we have dues, a lesson plan and a future we want to attain. The name was a group decision and we all love it. I'm so happy with it all, I could just burst. I have needed something positive like this in my life and something that is just mine.

I'm glad it's this.

Things have been happening.

Up to this point, I haven't had the energy to post in this journal because there was virtually nothing to post about.

However, there are things happening (as I just wrote) that I am rather waiting to make this grand announcement.

Until then... sit tight.

A few months back I wrote about my pentagram, and how I gave up wearing it after losing it and then finding it again three times. It's EXTREMELY important to me and I didn't want to lose it for good.

Shadow bought me one at the Minnesota Renn Faire last summer, beautiful, slightly larger than I would normally wear, with a small blue glass stone in the center. Well, THAT one didn't work either. After the stone fell out twice and was retrieved, I had to stop wearing it too for fear of losing the stone. I even tried super gluing it in, but it only held for a short time.

So I went to wearing a rose quartz crystal until I could find something appropriate and within my budget. To date, I've meandered through pagan websites looking for something appropriate, but everything is SO huge and I just don't have the need to display my religion THAT much.

So ... the other week at Kohl's I was thumbing through their sterling silver jewelry and they did NOT have pentagrams, but they had other relatively appropriate themed options, and all very pretty.

It was however anywhere from $25 to $60 dollars a piece and so I left it for another day.

Today I was there to look again being that I had some extra cash to spend thanks to tax time and they were having a 60% off sale on all the sterling silver jewelry and I chose a blue star. Again, it's not a pentagram, but it's a star and it's blue and very thematic and symbolic to me. I have a feeling I was meant to find it and purchase it today... it all rather fell into place.

It's also small and has a meaning for me and doesn't scream "HEY I'M PAGAN" and thus won't draw questions at work like some of the larger pentagrams would.

Yay!

This week was the week to get offended. This week, in the news, a college student went missing and a few days later was pulled from beneath the ice of the Mississippi river. He was the ninth or tenth man to be pulled from the river in the winter in as many years.

After his body was found, we were discussing the tragedy at work.

It's the witches. Says my friend.

What? I reply, taken aback and somewhat shocked to hear her say that.

For the sacrifices. She says.

Urm... what the hell do you say to that? Witches don't sacrifice, I said, I know this for a fact. I know a few.

Nope, it's the witches.

I didn't know what else to say beyond that aside from HEY, I'M ONE TOO but I refrained. I just let the conversation die.

I can only guess that she'll eventually know, because we have enough in common and share art journals that she is going to figure it out based on things I write. I've just got to stop thinking about it. I just hate blanket statements like that when you do not know who you are talking to.

In other news, Harmony Woods is slowly coming around again and I think this time it'll be better than it was before. I like the fact that it is women only as that is what Violet Star and Holly Phoenix was and I worked very well leading in that sort of a situation.

Also, to clarify... I use the word 'Training' to describe any program I undertake that has requirements. What I do may not be considered training in the grand scheme of things, BUT to me, the word simplifies things for readers of this blog. :)

This time of year I seem to shrivel up and die. Well, not in the literal sense but in the figurative sense in that the season just takes over and the spiritual part of me takes a break and everything is put aside and I have a rest. This is good, because what happens next is like a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon and I have this random, sometimes small and sometimes large, discovery at the very beginning of the year. Sometimes I discover something about myself, sometimes I start a new long term project, or a number of different things.

I think this rest time is needed because I put forth SO much energy into the many paths I am walking and then the end of the year comes and I know I just have to re-fuel to avoid burn out.

And it's okay.

The dark half of the year is supposed to be like that.

I am officially joining Sweetwood Temenos as of February (yes, I have actually taken the necessary steps!) and hopefully within the next three months, I'll have my Correllian 2nd Degree finished.

Hehe, I know I keep saying that, but you know, I needed a break. It also doesn't help that I don't have the last of the edits of my final project from Shadow and I need them to start putting together the next draft. Any day now I'm waiting for them to come in the mail. There is just something about the girl's personalities in the stories that are bothering me and I need all the printed copies to be able to compare and contrast what they are doing in each story to make sure everything adds up correctly.

But hey, I needed a break.

I think this next year will also take me back to the library, once a week, like I used to do. Where I read or worked on something in my own space outside of home for a few hours.

I hope 2010 unfolds as well as 2009 has. I'm really lucky!

Happy Holidays!

As was probably mentioned in previous entries, one of the task required as part of Winter's Ink is to celebrate either the 13 full moons or the eight sabbats for one entire year. It's the longest, and most time consuming of the rites. Samhain made five completed. My aim of course, is to do each one a little differently.

And so I invited the remaining members of Harmony Woods over for class, ritual, and supper. I provided the ritual and we each took a role in the casting of the circle. AJ did the warm up cleansing, Wolfhawk called the quarters, Sequoia invoked Deity, and I did the conjuration. I talked briefly about Samhain and the symbolism, we wrote down three goals we wanted to achieve by next Samhain, sealed those in wax, listened to a funny Hallowe'en story, and then did a new year tarot draw, one card per person. Once we had discussed the meanings of the cards, we passed around cookies and lemonade and closed circle.

Afterwards, we enjoyed a meal of my homemade chili, corn muffins, and cupcakes along with the lemonade from the ritual.

Spontaneity is not possible in Harmony Woods as far as ritual goes, but we do the best we can and I was very pleased with the whole thing.

In other news, I have sent off another two rites which were received, but I have not heard whether or not they were approved. I have to find out from Shadow.

I also got an email from Iacchus, caretaker of Sweetwood... the email was innocent enough, but very very thought provoking for me given how I've felt about my own spiritual practice every time I've been up there. It's hard to accept the fact that someone who is somewhat of a spiritual mentor for me would acknowledge my leadership skills. I have put off answering him while I think about what I want to say, though I am positive I will accept the offer of further training which is something I've longed for for years! Since the end of the original SpiderMoon Coven.

I shall of course update as everything progresses further.

Yesterday evening we ventured up to Sweetwood for Mabon. Myself, AJ, Ariel, Moira, Wolfhawk, and CC. Sequoia, the last member of Harmony Woods was unable to go due to being unable to find a ride up to the site.

We arrived in plenty of time, thinking that everything was starting at five, but thankfully, it did not because AJ was running late coming back from Work. We got the kids unloaded and let them run around and play, while the rest of adults got the circle set up for ritual.

We were required to bring something for the pot luck after the ritual I brought a garlic tomato and cucumber salad and I also made some cheater cookies made with graham crackers and regular cake frosting.

We headed down to the ritual circle and the feeling you get from walking down there is like coming home... the place has such an amazing energy, friendly and open and welcoming. We were greeted by old friends we met last time and there were new faces there that we did not recognize, something I always find very interesting because I love talking to people and hearing about what they do and also explaining my path to them.

We gathered outside the circle and blessed as we came in... with Rose Oil... my goodness I love the smell of Rose Oil. I was walking around the circle keeping Ariel entertained before we started and every so often this scent would waft towards me and I couldn't name it although it was a scent I recognized. It wasn't until Iacchus mentioned before the blessing that it was Rose oil, that I realized what exactly it was.

We were blessed and entered the circle. The bell was rung and the circle blessed. Then we called the quarters, ancestors, descendants, something that requires participation from the rest of the group and gives people who do not frequent these celebrations a chance to speak up and be a part of the casting. I love this part and try to participate every time, something different each time. Keeps my confidence honed, because we all know that talking outloud to the ether does not really make personal confidence.

The main part of the ritual focused on Community. It was a water sharing activity that went around the circle three times, each time charging the cauldron of water in the center of the Circle. The first was a sharing of what we're thankful for in our Community, the second was we want for Community, and the third was what we want to give back to our Community. It was a REALLY interesting exercise in what people had to say.

Then we chanted and danced. I LOVED this part because my little girl held my hand and danced and skipped along with me, watching and laughing.

Then we drank the charged water, the circle was closed, and the party began. We shared food and enjoyed each other's company. Lots of good conversation and I enjoyed hearing about what other people practice and I got a chance to talk about my work with Harmony Woods.

This is the third time that I have been up to Sweetwood. And each time I walk away from there with so much to think about, how much more I want to be involved. I loved what I am doing now and that will never change BUT I feel compelled to be doing something more, something closer to the Community up there. The more I go up there, the more it will become clearer what it is that I want.

I was working on my altar tonight and after experimenting with some black edging... I've decided to spraypaint the whole thing black.

In other words, rather than just change the surface of the table, I'm going to transform the whole thing!

The question now is: 4 elements or 4 seasons. I can see benefits to both, but am not sure the final decision.